I sang during worship service yesterday for the first time in several months. I sang "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. It is a great song. However, I don't particularly care for singing in front of a group of people. The main reason is because I get terribly nervous (especially if I am doing a solo.) I used to literally get sick before singing. I would get nauseated and sweaty. My heart would race. My stomach would grumble and growl to the point that I would have to rush to the church, hoping I would make it there in time. My desire would be to not sing at church. Ever. But the fact is that God gave me the gift to sing and he wants me to use that gift to further his kingdom. Apparently he wants me to sing in front of a large congregation on a regular basis. When you stop and think about it, you might wonder why God would give this particular gift to a person with stage fright. I have actually thought about that a lot. I read somewhere that God doesn't want us to be too comfortable because if we were then we would stop needing him and stop seeking him. I believe that he therefore gives his children gifts that are "outside of the box" to draw us closer to him. 
All I know is that I was standing on the platform preparing to sing. Pastor Brian was praying for offertory. My heart started pounding harder and faster. I started to feel weak and shaky. And then my mind took off. What if I forgot the words? (Even though I had them in large print on the stand in front of me.) I have forgotten the words before and trust me that is a very unpleasant situation. What if I started to sing and a frog-like croak came out instead? What if everyone hated it? What if? What if? What if? I know that this was Satan's way of trying to ruin God's worship time. I had prayed about it already that morning several times and I continued to pray as I stood there waiting. God, please help me. I can't do this without you. I felt the Lord saying the same words I had heard before. "I've got this. I've got you." He also brought a scripture verse to my mind, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) He let me know that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about my performance. It isn't even a "performance" at all, it is worship to my Heavenly Father and as long as I follow his will and let him do his work in me, it will be pleasing to him. I gave it to him. My anxiety started to subside some. I admit that when I sang the first line my voice was weak and it wavered. I was determined that I was going to do this in a way that was pleasing to my Lord. The rest of the song went smoothly and I feel like it honored God. Now I just had to do it all over again for 2nd service! I felt a sense of satisfaction in knowing that Satan did not win this round. Mark 10:27 reads, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
I would love to know about a time when you had to step out of your comfort zone to do God's work. Please leave a comment to let me know about this. Thank you in advance!
No comments:
Post a Comment