The Raspberry Patch

In complete transparency I have been avoiding writing this post. I have been feeling pressured to deliver something amazing; something better than the previous post and the post before that. And so I have been dragging my feet and avoiding writing this post. 

Here's another confession: I am a total perfectionist. Anyone who knows me at all is aware of this. I desire to be perfect in all that I do. I struggle to let things go because of my ongoing desire for perfection. I spend hours upon hours working to create end products that are completely perfect. One example of this involves black raspberries. We live on a small farm that has some overgrown fence rows that contain many, many wild raspberry bushes. I didn't realize how many raspberries there were until I become intent upon picking them. I decided that it was my job to pick all of the black raspberries so they would not go to waste. I picked raspberries for hours in 88 degree weather while wearing long pants and long sleeves to deter ticks and injury from thorns. I was determined as I entered unchartered raspberry patches while enduring thorns that ripped through my clothes and into the tender skin on my arms, hands, and legs. I became overwhelmed by the sheer number of raspberries. I was a woman possessed. I was scraped, poked, scratched, and bleeding. I looked like small animals had mauled me during me sleep. After three and a half hours of picking, I finally realized that it was not feasible or healthy for me to pick every raspberry. I was only able to pick about one third of the raspberries. I decided to let the rest go, which was incredibly difficult for me as a perfectionist.

Before you continue on in this post, do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to listen to and reflect upon the song below. It is such a powerful song that will help to set the tone for the rest of this post. 

I don't know about you, but my desire for perfection is an ongoing battle that I struggle with daily that sometimes interrupts my ability to find peace within myself and my life. When I reflect upon this song and what it means to me, I realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never actually achieve perfection. I am human and will therefore never be perfect. I also realize that I don't have to be perfect. According to scripture, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus is perfect and He sacrificed His life to make us holy and perfect in the eyes of God. Please pause and take some time read about Jesus' death in John 19 and His resurrection in John 20. According to Hebrews 10: 14 - 18, we are made perfect through Jesus' sacrifice:

Because by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First He says:

"This is the covenant I will make with them

after that time, says the Lord.

I will put my laws in their hearts,

and I will write them on their minds."

Then He adds:

"Their sins and lawless acts 

I will remember no more." 

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.

- Hebrews 10:14-18

So how do we receive this gift of perfection through Jesus' sacrifice? Let's look again to scripture:

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

- John 3:16

That if you confess with you mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in you heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 

- Romans 10:9,10

You have to first believe in Jesus and His sacrificial death and resurrection. After that, you need to confess out loud to God that you are sinful and that you believe that you are saved through Jesus's sacrifice. You should then seek to become closer to God through regular prayer and bible reading. Ask God to help you to accomplish His purpose for you within your life. Seek Him often and with passion.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

- Proverbs 3:5,6

But what does all of this mean in our ongoing struggle with perfection? As I mentioned above, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus makes us perfect through His sacrifice. The other thing that you need to know is that while God expects you to do work for Him and His kingdom while seeking His purpose for you, you will never achieve salvation or perfection through those good works; only through your acceptance of Jesus. So your good works or actions do not have to be perfect. If your actions align with God's will for your life, then He will use them for His greater purpose to draw you and others closer to Him. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

- Romans 8:28

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

- Ephesians 2:10

So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed with the pressure to be perfect, take a deep breath and just let it go. Ask God to take that burden from you. You don't have to be perfect. God created you to be unique and wonderful. He loves you for who you are. He will meet you where you are in all of your flaws and imperfection. And if you seek Him, He will use you and the work that you do for Him to further His kingdom. 

Standing in the Rain

Sometimes you find yourself standing in the rain and you don’t really know how you got there. You long for what you’ve lost and you wish that you could go back to the way things were. You almost feel as if a part of you is missing. You get overwhelmed when you think of the things that have been said and done. These things have cut you to the core and have left a wound that will take years to heal. When the wound does finally heal it will then only be a scar that has left a portion of your heart hardened and weak. You know that your heart will never be the same.

You don’t really know where to go from here. You admit that you don’t feel as close to the Lord as you once did. You acknowledge that you have no one to blame but yourself for this unpleasant distance from God. You just really haven’t been seeking Him like you should. Your priorities have been all wrong and you’ve let yourself slip into a place that you never thought you would visit again.

But you move on from there. You pray that God will help you and your family through these difficult circumstances. You pick up your bible and you read God’s word. You realize at once how much you have missed those words and how very much you need to have them in your life. You trudge forward . . . and God meets you there. He is with you in the pain and helps you to take one day at a time. He helps you to realize that your struggle is not against any one person but against Satan himself as he wreaks havoc on your life. The Lord makes you see how important it is to pray not only for yourself but also for your enemies. And then you get this overwhelming sense of peace in the midst of a situation that is certainly not peaceful. You know that this peace is supernatural and can come only from your Heavenly Father. You give Him thanks for His love and kindness and you keep praying, reading and taking one day at a time. The Lord uses the following words to speak to you and heal you. You put on the full armor of God.

The Armor of God

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. (Ephesians 6:10-20 NIV)

Down

Oh, it's been so long since I've blogged. The reason is simply because I've really not been in a good place in my life lately. I haven't felt like I had any inspiring words to share. But then I guess we don't always need to have pretty, happy words to share. Sometimes words have the most impact when they are completely real and raw, from the very depths of our soul. I just spent time with the Lord and I feel strongly that he wants me to share something right now. He said the words will come.

I've been down. So very, very down. I am frustrated with the state of my life. I would actually have to admit that I'm depressed. I dislike my job so much right now that it has affected my entire life, every aspect of my existence. I feel physically incapable of happiness at this point in my life. I cry bitterly often. I am a total mess. This has affected my marriage and my family. I want so badly to have a new job . . . a job that I actually enjoy. I've wanted this for the past six months. I've prayed and prayed, begging and pleading with God . . . and nothing. Here I still am in the same job. I believe I had actually lost all hope and faith. I hate saying that. It's so horrible. But it's true. I didn't really know what else to do. What else could I possibly do? I had applied for at least 15 other jobs. Nothing happened. I felt a bit like I had leprosy. Nobody would give me the time of day.

I understand that I have no control over this. If God doesn't want me to have a new job, then it's not going to happen. I have been told numerous times that I must be patient and wait for God's timing. Definitely easier said than done. It's a different story when you're the one who has to be patient and wait, especially when you are miserable.

So now you're up to speed about where I'm at in my life and what I've been dealing with. I'm waiting. And it's very, VERY difficult. I'm going to take one day at a time. So even though I am scared and I can't see where the path goes, I'm going to have faith and trust in the Lord. (Oh, by the way, God did tell me he would move in this. He just didn't tell me when or how.) I'm going to seek God and be obedient to him. I'm going to keep praying. (I'm sure he may be really tired of hearing from me about this, but I'm going to keep praying about it anyway.) And I'm going to surround myself with the things of God. I will do this by reading his word and listening to Christian music. I strongly believe in the power of music. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP! Satan has been trying to get me down but I will not give in to him! Did you know that according to the bible, Satan must leave us when we command him to leave in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit? Pretty cool, huh?

More to come later . . .

Heaven

OK, here it is. The following words are simply the most treasured, intimate and precious words that I have received from the Lord. I have kept them close to me, in my heart and hidden from others. I have only shared them with a few trusted friends. They touch my soul so much that I can't help but weep every time that I read them. These words breathe spiritual life into me, soothing me with such peace and comfort that I can almost feel the Lord's arms wrapped around me as I read them. I realize that you may not have the same response to them because they are from our Heavenly Father and specific to me. I have actually considered never sharing these words with anyone because they are so intimate. I believe that the Lord gave me these words for a reason and wants me to share them with as many people as I can. Breathe them in and feel the presence of God as you read them.

July 3, 2009
Stay alert, my child. I am coming. When you least expect it, I will be here. Make sure you and those you love are ready. Tell them the Good News. There is so much more than just this life. You cannot even imagine the beauty of heaven. Your worries, cares, sickness and sin will all be left behind. You have perfection through me and will enjoy eternal perfection in heaven. The most beautiful part of heaven is being in the eternal, loving presence of my Heavenly Father. Imagine him wrapping his loving arms around you and giving you the best hug ever . . . that lasts forever. You have experienced only a small little slice of what heaven will be like: the feeling of the Holy Spirit in you, enjoying a moment of love and laughter with your family and friends, the feeling of having an open channel of worship to the Lord, the moment your son was placed in your arms for the very first time, the day you gave your life to me, the day your son will give his life to me, the day you married your best friend and true love, the moment that you realized the sacrifice I made for you so that you could be free from all of your sins, the day you realized that you too could have a personal, interactive relationship with me and our Heavenly Father, the day you really began to understand that I will love you no matter what, the first time you realized that you do make a difference in this world (when you played an integral part in saving someone's life,) the first time you realized that you do make a difference in the spiritual realm (you planted or watered a seed and helped lead someone to me.) This is only a small portion of what heaven will be. How much more, you cannot even imagine.

Revelation 21

21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”^[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
⁶ He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. ⁷ Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children."

Roadblock

Sometimes life is so hard. Making a decision that will affect your life and your family's life in a huge way is certainly difficult. So many hours of praying and waiting with still no clear direction from God is indeed a challenge. When this happens, I recommend that you follow your first instinct. It is usually the one that comes from your heart. If your heart is actively seeking God, this first instinct is usually the right one.

I believe that we can get in a place in our life when we just need a change. We can get burnt out and lose the passion that we once felt for what we've been doing for the last fourteen years. When we get to this point, any change can look good. I also believe that the devil can entice us into making a change that is not right for us at that time. He will make it look great. He can even make it look like it is something that is God's will.

Have you ever made an important decision and then discovered within about 2 days that you made the wrong one? It's such a horrible feeling. You can't go back to what you had before because what's done is done. And when you think about it you know you don't really want to go back because deep down inside it doesn't feel right to you anymore either. You're trapped. You feel caught between a rock and a hard place. You long for something different but aren't sure what that is or where that is. What do you do now? Who do you turn to?

Well, I believe the only answer is to turn to Jesus. He is always the right answer. Even when we have made the most horrible decisions possible, Jesus will always be right there beside us. He knows us even better than we know ourselves. He knows our deepest, most intimate thoughts . . . the things within our hearts that we've never told anyone about because we are too ashamed. Jesus knows all of this about us and he still loves us unconditionally. He loves us so much that he endured tremendous pain and suffering while he died for our sins. Who else do you know that has done this for you? He died for me and he died for you. Why did he do this? He did these things for us so that we could be saved from a horrible fate . . . eternal separation from God (also know as spending the rest of your life in hell.) What an amazing gift that is available to anyone who will accept it! What do you have to do to accept it? Simply acknowledge that you have sinned, ask Jesus to forgive you, recognize that he died for your sins and rose again and then ask him to guide your life. You will be amazed at what will happen. I know that I was.

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm realizing that I made the wrong decision. (Oh how difficult it is to admit that you're wrong, especially when it includes telling your husband that he was right.) But I'm also trusting in God. I'm looking to him as I take this one day at a time. I'm worshipping him in the midst of this turmoil. I'm seeking his face with all of my heart and soul. I know that I need him and can do nothing (NOTHING) without him. I will wait patiently as he finds a place for me. I also realize that God knew that I would make this wrong decision and I will try to accomplish his work while I am there. These are just a few of the words I got from the Lord this morning, "Oh, my child, I love you. I am yours and you are mine. Sometimes you must make the wrong decision to find the right one. I will bring good of this if you let me. Look to me and trust me in this. Continue to worship me with all of your heart, my daughter. I will never leave you: not in this, not ever. You are precious to me and I want what is good and right for you."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Oh and one more thing. . . if you pray that God will block something if it is not his will and then you literally drive up to a road block on your way to the thing you've been praying about, take it seriously. It may indeed be God's way of telling you that he is "blocking" it.
www.biblegateway.com

Blessed

I sit here on the porch in the beauty of the day. It is my favorite place to spend time with the Lord. I love to sit there rocking back and forth on the bench reading my bible and listening to the sounds of His wonderful creation. I can hear many different types of birds chirping harmoniously, creating a wonderfully soothing melody. The sun shines brightly as it filters through the leaves of the many trees in our yard. The squirrels playfully scurry about as they chase each other around trees. I can see a couple of bees buzzing nearby. I can feel the peace in the Lord's loving creation all around me. It beckons me. I feel a sense of God saying to me, "I created all of this for you because I love you and I want you to enjoy all of the beauty around you." I think of this and all of the blessings the Lord has poured into my life and I feel truly overwhelmed by His goodness and grace. He has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. I feel humbled by all that the Lord has given me and done for me. I give all of my thanks and praise to Him. I acknowledge that everything that I have is from my Heavenly Father. He has saved my life. He has saved my soul. He has saved my marriage. He has blessed me with a healthy, happy son when I was told that I would probably never be able to bear children. He has given me a wonderful Christian husband who loves me with all of his heart. The Lord has placed me in a fulfilling job in which I am truly happy. I get to help others who are sick and injured while I work alongside a group of truly amazing coworkers. I feel blessed to work with people who care about others and will help them and me in our times of need. My cup runneth over. I continue to sit and enjoy the peace of God's creation. I can feel Him in the creation all around me. He is the gentle breeze blowing through my hair. He is with me always and He loves me. I am His daughter and He is my Father.

Psalm 23:5-6

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

Distracted . . . to Peaceful

I spent time with the Lord this morning. I prayed for those in my life who are ill, hurting or need prayer in other ways. Then I sat and listened. At first, I didn't get any words from the Lord. I sat there at the table and listened to the sounds of the house: the washing machine swishing, the dryer running and the tick-tocking of a nearby clock. I really tried to focus and relax. I shut my eyes. I thought I could hear the faint humming of the refrigerator. I found that as hard as I was trying, I just couldn't obtain complete concentration due to the lack of silence. My thoughts were interrupted by these random sounds. I was distracted by the things around me. I really thought about this and realized that God was showing me something important here. It reminded me of a vision that I had a few years ago.

I can actually remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at the triage desk at work waiting for the next patient to come. I was looking out the front window when I saw a vision of a long road or path. At the end of the path was the Lord. The path was littered with a lot of large debris like fallen trees, garbage, man-made things, etc. In order to get down this path to the Lord, I must remove all of the debris. With each piece of debris that I remove, the easier it is to get down the path and the closer I get to the Lord. The path in this vision is my life and my walk with the Lord. The debris is every distraction (good or bad) that gets in the way of me following the Lord. I must put all things aside to focus on the Lord. This includes all of the emotional "garbage" that I've collected over the years as well as the worldly distractions that are all around me.

How easy is it to let things of the world distract us from spending necessary time with the Lord? It doesn't take much for us to get caught up in worldly desires and activities. These distractions aren't always considered "sinful" either. Watching too much television or spending a lot of time surfing the Internet can certainly interfere with our devotional time. I admit that I have actually let my favorite hobby of knitting come between me and God. The Lord wants our best. He wants our first, not our last. He wants our attention, devotion, love, faithfulness and time. He wants us to come to Him regularly to completely give ourselves over to Him. He wants us to follow Him and be like Him. That's one reason He gave us Jesus. He sent His Son to this world as a living, breathing, perfect example for us to follow. Then He documented these specific examples of perfection from Jesus' life in the Holy Bible. He wants us to read it and to learn about Jesus so that we can be like Him. And then He wants us to teach our children how to be like Jesus. He doesn't want us to stop there, He wants us to tell our family, our friends, our coworkers, our enemies - well, pretty much everyone we can about Jesus and His perfect example of life. We need to tell others how He is working in our lives and share the Good News. That is why I started this blog, to share God and what He is doing in my life with anyone who is willing to sit and read it.

I'm certainly not perfect. Trust me, I am far from perfection. Jesus is the only person who is truly perfect in every way. I'm just saying that when I feel the Lord prompting me to do or say something, I try to be obedient. This is sometimes very difficult. Often people look at me like I'm an absolute freak. But that's OK, I don't really care. I just want to carry out God's plan for me. I feel that if I don't respond to God's calling, I or someone else will most likely miss out on His wonderful blessings.

I will admit that lately I haven't been spending time in the Lord like I should. I can feel a difference in myself and see a difference in my life. First of all I can tell that I'm just a little grumpier or crankier than usual. I don't get along with my family as well. It seems like we argue and disagree more. I just feel uneasy or unsettled . . . like I don't have that peace. You know, the peace of God that transcends all understanding? When I don't spend regular time with God, that peace is gone. I hate that. And then when I start to draw closer to Him again, the peace returns like water gently flowing over me. That, my friends, is truly the greatest feeling in the world - the peace of God. Have you experienced it? 

Rebirth

I sit here in the sun on this beautiful Spring day. The air is crisp and fresh as it gently blows through my hair. This birds are chirping. The world is budding with new life. It is a rebirth. I think of Spring with all of the renewal of life. The flowers are budding as they start to break through the soil. Baby birds are hatching and entering the world for the first time. The grass is a rich green color as it sheds off the dead brown of winter slumber. I drink in all of the activity around me and I can't help but think of one word - hope. I feel excited as I think of the hope of what the coming months will bring. What experiences and new memories with I have with family and friends? How will the Lord use me and grow me for His purpose?

Our greatest hope is found in the ultimate rebirth - the rebirth of Jesus as He rose again from within His tomb. He rose again so that we could experience life and love in freedom through Him and His death. It is only because of His selfless sacrifice that we do not have to endure eternal death and separation from God. God knows that all of His children will sin at some point in their lives (except for Jesus, of course.) The Lord is perfect and just in all ways and can only accept sinless, perfect people. He therefore requires us to pay for our sins in the form of death. Jesus stepped up and offered Himself in our place so that we would not have to pay this deadly price for our sins. If we accept Jesus, believing that He died for us and rose again, we will experience eternity in heaven with Him. This is the only way to enter into heaven. In John 14:6-7, Jesus says “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know^[a] my Father as well." The other thing that we are blessed with through Jesus' death and rebirth is the Holy Spirit. This Spirit lives within all believers and allows us to come to the Lord in prayer and worship whenever we want. The Holy Spirit allows us to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father. Through the Spirit, we can experience God and His love for us in ways that we never thought were possible.

Romans 8

Life Through the Spirit

 ¹ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

 ⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

 ⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life^[d] because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of^[e] his Spirit who lives in you.

 ¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

 ¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. http://www.biblegateway.com/

Beautiful Snowflake

The closer I draw to the Lord, the more I see His amazing work in my life. He is all around me, in every detail of my life. I see Him in the people, situations and single moments in my life. I"m not sure why I didn't notice the magnitude of His work in my life before. I'm certain that He has always been at work around me. Perhaps I have been motivated by my own selfish desires and too wrapped up in my own agenda to notice Him. The more I seek Him, the more I see Him all around me. To be completely honest, He absolutely astonishes me with His goodness and blessings. I see things now that I never noticed before. I would love to share some of these things with you.

A few weeks ago I met a woman that is truly a servant of God. Lets call her Beth. Beth was a complete stranger when the Lord crossed her path with mine for a brief moment. She has been caring for her disabled teenage son for all of his life. Her son is unable to walk. Beth provides all of his care, including lifting him regularly by herself. She also takes care of her 90 year old grandmother. Beth's grandmother has an arm fracture and is also unable to walk. Beth provides all of her grandmother's care, including lifting her regularly by herself. I could see that Beth was overwhelmed with her responsibilities so I discussed with Beth the possibility of placing her grandmother in an extended care facility. Beth said that she would never let that happen. She said that her grandmother raised her because her alcoholic, drug-addicted mother left her and her father when she was an infant. Beth said that she knows that God will help her care for her family. I admire Beth and her selflessness. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for her to care for her family daily. I'm sure she must make regular sacrifices to provide for them in this way. As I reflect on Beth, I know that I probably wouldn't have given her another thought if not for God's prompting. I find that Beth is frequently on my mind and I pray for her and her family often. I feel like I can see God's good in people now. I was once judgemental and critical of others.



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This weekend we went to the grocery store. I know that this doesn't sound very profound. As we were walking through the parking lot, we couldn't help but notice the huge, fluffy clumps of snow falling from the sky. We have had very little snow so far this winter so we marveled at the beauty of the snowfall. My son and I stopped to catch some of the falling snow on our coat sleeves. As we looked at the clumps of snow, we noticed that each clump was made up of several intricately-detailed snowflakes stuck together. Each snowflake was beautiful but different from the other. I couldn't help but wonder how anyone could look at a snowflake and not know for sure that there is an Awesome Creator. The amazing detail of each snowflake is certainly not something that can happen by chance. Isn't God cool that He makes these beautiful little masterpieces fall all around us every time that it snows? And then I thought about how small each individual flake is and how many, many flakes clumped together can create a complete transformation of the world around us. I compared it to each one of God's children. He makes us all beautiful in our own way. However, we can still feel small and insignificant in this vast and sometimes brutal world around us. When we join in His name with His other servants to become His body of Christ, we can accomplish things that would be otherwise insurmountable.

Yesterday I cleaned the house. I hate cleaning the house. Besides having dental work or a medical procedure, cleaning the house is my least favorite thing to do. Well, anyway, I cleaned the house because it really needed to be done. I decided to listen to my Ipod to make the experience more pleasant. I knew that my Ipod wasn't completely charged. When I turned it on, I noticed that it had slightly less than half of the battery. I started playing my "worship songs" playlist and went about the business of cleaning, expecting my Ipod to die within about an hour. Roughly an hour later, I barely heard the phone ringing. I stopped the music and answered the phone. When I hung up, I looked at my Ipod again. The battery bar was red now and showed pretty much no battery left. Well, I decided to keep listening to my worship music since it hadn't died yet. Our cat followed me around the house and looked at me like I was a freak as I belted out all of my favorite worship songs. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I cleaned at least another two and a half hours and my Ipod never died. Such a God thing. :)

As I was dusting the shelves in our living room, I noticed the two small wooden shoes that my grandparents had carved several years ago. I have dusted the same shoes many times before. As I was listening to my worship music and praising God while I cleaned, a new thought popped into my mind. I thought about the tiny wooden shoes and how we obtained them. I remembered that it was back when I was a freshman in high school and I was dating my husband. I took him to our family Christmas at my grandparents' house. My grandmother was a kind and loving woman that would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable or unloved. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was very surprised when he was presented with the small gift to open. My grandmother had given him the small wooden shoe that my grandfather had carved and she had stained. Not more than a month later, Mike and I broke up. I never really thought about the shoe after that. We of course got back together (two years later). Just a few months after Christmas, my grandmother was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. She died that spring. I still miss her so much even now. I had a very close, special relationship with her and my grandfather. When she died, our family fell apart. She was that special ingredient, the glue that held everything together. As I held the shoes I thought about how she is still so much a part of me today. I wouldn't be who I am now without her and the experiences we shared. Then I wondered when I got the other shoe. I thought I could remember getting it as a birthday present when I was a child. My grandparents always gave us hand-carved pieces as gifts. How awesome to now have these two shoes together as a pair, one appropriately smaller and than the other. They remind me of my husband and I being a pair and walking through life together. I am thankful that the Lord brought these things to my mind again. How awesome He is that He brought these two shoes back together. He knew those many years ago that they would be a pair someday. He also knew how special it would be that my grandmother was such a big part of that story.

I attribute my new found spiritual clarity to being closer to God. He is making me more like Him and therefore I can see Him all around me with renewed clarity. The following scripture says it better than I ever could.

1 Corinthians 2:6-16

God’s Wisdom Revealed by the Spirit

 ⁶ We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. ⁷ No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. ⁸ None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. ⁹ However, as it is written:

   “What no eye has seen,
   what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”^[a]—
   the things God has prepared for those who love him—

 ¹⁰ these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

   The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. ¹¹ For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. ¹² What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. ¹³ This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.^{[b] 14} The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. ¹⁵ The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, ¹⁶ for,

   “Who has known the mind of the Lord
   so as to instruct him?”^[c]
   But we have the mind of Christ.

As I was working on this post, which I had already entitled "Beautiful Snowflake," I opened my Dove chocolate to the following message:


another God thing!

 http://www.biblegateway.com/

He is Jealous For Me

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.


Oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all.


We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...

Oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us, 

How He loves us all.
How He Loves ~ David Crowder Band

I've been thinking about this song for at least a week now. I just can't get it out of my head. I just love the words. They describe God's love for us so poetically. I first heard this song about a month ago during Sunday morning worship service. Our worship team sang it and I instantly liked it. Then I forgot about the song for a while. I got an email about a week and a half ago and the subject was this song. I looked it up on you tube and have been singing it ever since. I have downloaded it to my Ipod and needless to say I have been singing it so much that I'm sure I'm driving my family crazy. I know the Lord keeps bringing this song to my mind for a reason. He loves me so much. He loves us all so much and He wants us to know it and to feel His love for us.

So . . . I finished this post and hopped in the shower. As I was washing my hair I got this terrible sinking feeling. It was a feeling that I would compare to arriving to class one morning and realizing that you forgot to do your homework. I realized that I wasn't finished with this post. Actually, God wasn't finished with this post. He has more to say here. Well, anyway . . . here's the rest of it.

He is jealous for me. What does that mean exactly? To me it means that He wants our time and our attention. And that's not all He wants. He wants our love, our worship, our obedience, our thankfulness, our faithfulness . . . He wants all of us. He wants us to give everything that we are and everything that we have to Him to be used for His purpose. He wants us to come to Him and consult Him in every decision, to talk to Him like He is our best friend. (He is you know.) He is our best friend and our Father. He wants to hear about triumphs, our fears and everything in between. He is the only one that we will ever know that will never hurt us. He is perfect in all ways.

We should all take a good look at our lives and figure out what is keeping us from Him. Maybe it's some secret sin that no one else knows about. Pornography? Adultery? Lying? Overeating? Maybe it's something that you would never even consider sinful. It could be watching TV, surfing the internet, reading or knitting.  I have to admit that as silly as it seems, I have let knitting come between me and the Lord. I have gotten involved in an intricate project and have spent all of my free time knitting instead of spending time in the Lord. He wants us to put Him first in our lives. He doesn't want to be second, third . . . or tenth. He wants our best, not our leftovers.

Peace

I have had quite a busy week at work. My week was actually somewhat exhausting. I can say that through it all I continue to remain close to Jesus. I continue to pray and talk to Jesus (silently while I'm working) throughout each day. I ask Him for help and continue to lean on Him in situations that seem beyond my ability to cope. He continues to provide help in the form of my co-workers and my boss. In the midst of critical and challenging work situations, I continue to find the strength and resources I need to accomplish everything that needs to be done.

I am still amazed at how He provides for me and keeps me close to him. He is so good to me in so many ways. I can't even begin to count all of the blessings He has poured into my life. The closer I draw to Him, the more peace I have within me. It is a peace unlike anything I have experienced. It's a peace from deep within my soul that feels like someone wrapping their arms around me and giving me a great big hug. It's a feeling of contentment and protection even when I am frustrated, busy and exhausted. It's the peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I love living in God's peace.

 Not very long ago, I was in a place in my life where I certainly did not feel the peace of God in my life. I felt distant from the Lord and it was a very unsettling feeling. I wasn't following God's will for me at that time. Oh, I was going through all of the motions. I went to church every Sunday. But I wasn't seeking the Lord like I should. I wasn't reading the bible much at all and I wasn't spending regular quite time with God. I didn't consult Him in anything. I just went about my life making all of my own decisions, thinking the Lord would probably be on board with me. Well, He wasn't. 

You may be wondering how I attained the peace that I now have. Well it's simple really. I prayed. I sat down by myself, bowed my head and prayed. I asked God to help me to follow His will instead of my own selfish desires. I asked Him to forgive me for my sinful, stubborn ways. I asked Him to change me from the inside out and make me into His loving, compassionate servant. I started spending more time reading the bible and talking to the Lord. I found that the more I sought Him and was obedient to His will, the closer I felt to Him. This resulted in the amazing peace that I continue to experience.

2 Peter 1:2
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
http://www.biblegateway.com/