Calming the Storm

I have had quite a week. Work has been extremely busy. I have to admit that I was still a little upset about the whole job thing. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can find out in my post "God's Difficult Will." It's not that I don't like my job, I really do. And I like the people that I work with. We all work well together as a team. We accomplish some amazing and very difficult things together. It's that my job can be absolutely exhausting on almost every human level. We have days that are so busy that I feel like there needs to be two of me. My work is physically, emotionally and mentally taxing. I have done this work for nearly 14 years now. I felt like this new job was the "promised land" and I assumed God would want me to go there. The Lord made it very clear that I was to continue his work in my current job. Naturally, as a sometimes disobedient child can do, I got mad. What about what I want? Do I not matter?

Well, the Lord continued to work on me this week. As I worked, I kept praying little prayers to the Lord. Lord, help me do this. God, I can't do this without you. I need you, Lord. He helped me keep up with the work and he gave me this feeling of peace that is hard to describe. It's almost like a feeling of someone loving you from the inside out. It starts in your chest and works its way up to your face and eyes. You almost feel like you are smiling even when you know that you aren't. You can feel this warm sensation in your cheeks, kind of like you are blushing. I knew that it was God and that he was saying, "I've got this. I've got you."

When we are right with God and following his will instead of our own, we can have peace even in the midst of all the chaos. I was surprised at how unsettled I felt while I was trying to figure out what to do about the new job. I continued to feel unsettled even when I thought the Lord wanted this job for me. Then when I followed his will and continued to submit to him and seek him in his will, I immediately felt peace about the whole situation. Pretty amazing, huh?

Matthew 8:23-27

 ²³ Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴ Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵ The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
 ²⁶ He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
 ²⁷ The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

If Jesus can calm a storm then he can calm our storms. However, he will only calm our storms if we seek him and ask him. And did you catch the other part? We must have faith. Not just any faith but faith in Jesus, that he can and will do these things if we ask. Do you have faith?

The Lord gave me these words this morning:

My child, you are right to seek me and put me first in your life. If you do these things, all other things will fall into place and you will have peace in your soul. You need not worry about the little details of your life. Give them to me and I will take care of them. Your only concern is me and my will. Follow me with all of your heart and all of your soul. Align your will with mine. I am pleased with you, my child, and the work you are doing in my name. I know it is difficult to go against the way of the world but many people will be blessed by the work you are doing for me. Continue to further my kingdom and you will be greatly blessed.

Matthew 5:7

⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.

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God's Difficult Will

God's will is sometimes very difficult. He never said His will would be easy. I think we just assume that once we become believers and accept Christ that our lives will be smooth-sailing. This is so not the case.

I admit that I have had a difficult week. My father-in-law had a major surgery yesterday. We waited for hours to hear the outcome and prognosis of his situation. He was facing cancer. We prayed for him together as family and friends. We prayed from the very intimate and tender places of our hearts. It was a truly spiritual experience that I will never forget. I could feel the love of Jesus surrounding us and him. At the end of the day, the news was good. Preliminary testing indicates that the tumor was benign. It was a very sweet ending to a long, exhausting day. Thank you, Lord!

The other issue I have been facing this week is a new job opportunity. I have been pretty excited about this potential new job. I have been praying about it for about a week with no real sense of what God wanted me to do in this situation. I had already convinced myself that I would be perfect for the job and that it must be God's will for me to make the change. The new position would have meant working less hours per week and having way less job stress. I would be doing a lot more paperwork and having virtually no life or death situations to deal with. It would also mean that I could sleep much later. My current job requires me to be at work at 5 a.m.. The new job would start at 8 a.m. I could practically envision myself with my head on my pillow enjoying all of the extra sleep I would be getting. The other beautiful benefit of the new job was that I would not have to work any weekends or holidays. I was so convinced that God would want all of these wonderful things for me that I even talked to my boss about applying for the other position.

Well, yesterday as Mike (my husband) and I were on our way to the hospital, the Lord made it abundantly clear what He wanted me to do. Mike and I were talking about this new job and how it would change our routine and home life. As I was talking to Mike, I got this overwhelming sense of what God wanted from me. He told me that I was focusing on all of the wrong things. He said that He loved me but it was not about my comfort. He needed me to stay in my current job. He knew it was stressful, difficult and exhausting. He needed me there to continue to do His work.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I got this message. I wanted to cry and almost did. Why? Why could I not have comfort and ease? Why? I pictured myself standing in front of God, pounding on His chest while I threw a tantrum like a two-year-old asking over and over, "Why?" The whole time I ranted and raved, the Lord held me in His arms while enduring my fists against his chest. He loves me no matter how disobedient I am.

This morning as I spent time with the Lord, he gave me these words:

I am well pleased with you, my child. You have been obedient to Me and I am pleased. Continue to seek Me with your whole heart in all of your decisions. You are right to consult Me about a new job. You know what I want from you and where I want you to be. My will is not always easy or comfortable. My will can be exhausting and taxing. No one ever said being a follower of Me would be easy or without hardship. It will be very rewarding, though. Continue to seek My will and not your own. Remember that I will be with you every step of the way. I will never leave your side. I will give you strength and rest. Cast your burdens onto Me. I will give you peace in your soul in the midst of My will.

The scripture He gave me is Philippians 2:12-18.

Do Everything Without Grumbling

 ¹² Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

 ¹⁴ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”^[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky ¹⁶ as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. ¹⁷ But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸ So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

It is difficult to do what God wants us to do, especially when every inch of our being wants something different. As His children, God calls us to do this and to do it without complaining. We are so blessed that He is with us at all times to help us accomplish His purpose.
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A New Start

Hello everyone. I am new to the blogging venue. I never would have thought I would be starting a blog. I actually had no real desire to start a blog. God placed on my heart that He wanted me to do this to further His kingdom. I know many of you may be skeptical that God Himself actually told me to do anything. I know that I used to feel the same way. I didn't come to know the Lord until I was 28 years old and before that, I never heard from Him at all. (Or at least I never realized I was hearing from him.) I was a clueless person back then. I just went through the motions of life with no real purpose or satisfaction. I never felt like I was actively rejecting the Lord then, I just didn't know Him. I had very little exposure to the things of God. I didn't really know what I was missing and I didn't give it much thought.

Well, anyway, I have found Jesus and He has saved me. Now I have a relationship with Him that is very unique and personal. I hear from Him. I usually don't physically hear his voice. His words come to me in written form. I sit with pen and paper and His words flow through me. This is how it started. I was in Sunday school class one morning and the teacher said. " You can pray all you want but unless you sit and listen for a response you are just having a one-way conversation." That statement was absolutely profound to me. Sit and listen for the Lord? Would He really talk to ME? Why? How? What would He say? Well, to make a long story short, He did speak to me and He sure had a lot to say. I felt like I was going crazy at first. I didn't tell anyone because I thought for sure they would think I was a freak. I was getting pages and pages of words from the Lord. I was afraid of these words and I didn't know what to do with them. I needed some help. I finally told a few trusted friends and went to speak with my pastor about everything. He confirmed that I am indeed not crazy and that I was very well getting some words from the Lord. He told me to be careful about sharing messages specific to a particular person and to use discernment.

It has been over 2 years ago since this journey began. I would like to be able to tell you that I have grown tremendously in this gift and all other aspects of my spiritual life. Sadly, this is not the case. I did grow quickly and fervently at first but lately I have rarely made time to spend in the Lord or His word. I have felt distant from the Lord of late. I feel almost embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I have been blessed with an amazing gift that I'm not even using. What do I do with this gift? Does He want me to write a book? I started praying about it. He revealed to me that blogging about His words would be a great way to further His kingdom. I had some concerns at first. I prayed more. He revealed some things to me yesterday that confirmed this plan. First, the sermon that Pastor Greg gave yesterday spoke to me. He actually gave a testimony about a time he was sitting at his computer and words from the Lord flowed out of him. He described it as an "out-of-body experience" and said that the words were not his own. I related to this experience and feel the same way when I receive words. The second experience occurred at a Chinese restaurant. I rarely open my fortune cooking and read my fortune because I feel only God knows our fortune. Well, I did read my fortune and this is what it said, "Trust him, but still keep your eyes open."  I looked up scripture referencing eyes being open. I found Numbers 24:15,16.

The oracle of Balaam son of Beor,

the oracle of one whose eye sees clearly,

the oracle of one who hears the words of God,

who has knowledge from the Most High,

who sees a vision from the Almighty,

who falls prostrate, and whose eyes are opened.

These verses are talking about Balaam, who was a sorcerer that foretold of the coming of the Messiah. To me it says that God can and will use anyone to accomplish his purpose.

I am here, ready and willing to share the things of God. I trust in the Lord and I have a notebook full of words to share. I hope I have captured your attention and peaked your interest!