The Raspberry Patch

In complete transparency I have been avoiding writing this post. I have been feeling pressured to deliver something amazing; something better than the previous post and the post before that. And so I have been dragging my feet and avoiding writing this post. 

Here's another confession: I am a total perfectionist. Anyone who knows me at all is aware of this. I desire to be perfect in all that I do. I struggle to let things go because of my ongoing desire for perfection. I spend hours upon hours working to create end products that are completely perfect. One example of this involves black raspberries. We live on a small farm that has some overgrown fence rows that contain many, many wild raspberry bushes. I didn't realize how many raspberries there were until I become intent upon picking them. I decided that it was my job to pick all of the black raspberries so they would not go to waste. I picked raspberries for hours in 88 degree weather while wearing long pants and long sleeves to deter ticks and injury from thorns. I was determined as I entered unchartered raspberry patches while enduring thorns that ripped through my clothes and into the tender skin on my arms, hands, and legs. I became overwhelmed by the sheer number of raspberries. I was a woman possessed. I was scraped, poked, scratched, and bleeding. I looked like small animals had mauled me during me sleep. After three and a half hours of picking, I finally realized that it was not feasible or healthy for me to pick every raspberry. I was only able to pick about one third of the raspberries. I decided to let the rest go, which was incredibly difficult for me as a perfectionist.

Before you continue on in this post, do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to listen to and reflect upon the song below. It is such a powerful song that will help to set the tone for the rest of this post. 

I don't know about you, but my desire for perfection is an ongoing battle that I struggle with daily that sometimes interrupts my ability to find peace within myself and my life. When I reflect upon this song and what it means to me, I realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never actually achieve perfection. I am human and will therefore never be perfect. I also realize that I don't have to be perfect. According to scripture, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus is perfect and He sacrificed His life to make us holy and perfect in the eyes of God. Please pause and take some time read about Jesus' death in John 19 and His resurrection in John 20. According to Hebrews 10: 14 - 18, we are made perfect through Jesus' sacrifice:

Because by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First He says:

"This is the covenant I will make with them

after that time, says the Lord.

I will put my laws in their hearts,

and I will write them on their minds."

Then He adds:

"Their sins and lawless acts 

I will remember no more." 

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.

- Hebrews 10:14-18

So how do we receive this gift of perfection through Jesus' sacrifice? Let's look again to scripture:

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

- John 3:16

That if you confess with you mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in you heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 

- Romans 10:9,10

You have to first believe in Jesus and His sacrificial death and resurrection. After that, you need to confess out loud to God that you are sinful and that you believe that you are saved through Jesus's sacrifice. You should then seek to become closer to God through regular prayer and bible reading. Ask God to help you to accomplish His purpose for you within your life. Seek Him often and with passion.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

- Proverbs 3:5,6

But what does all of this mean in our ongoing struggle with perfection? As I mentioned above, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus makes us perfect through His sacrifice. The other thing that you need to know is that while God expects you to do work for Him and His kingdom while seeking His purpose for you, you will never achieve salvation or perfection through those good works; only through your acceptance of Jesus. So your good works or actions do not have to be perfect. If your actions align with God's will for your life, then He will use them for His greater purpose to draw you and others closer to Him. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

- Romans 8:28

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

- Ephesians 2:10

So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed with the pressure to be perfect, take a deep breath and just let it go. Ask God to take that burden from you. You don't have to be perfect. God created you to be unique and wonderful. He loves you for who you are. He will meet you where you are in all of your flaws and imperfection. And if you seek Him, He will use you and the work that you do for Him to further His kingdom. 

The Other Side of the Door

As I sit here staring at my blank computer screen, I think back on everything that's happened in the last year and I wonder how I'm ever going to put into words all that I need to say. So much has happened that I can't even fathom how I can write about it and even do it justice. And then I realize that I really shouldn't even worry about it. It's out of my hands. God will give me the words that He wants me to write. I just need to put this into His hands and it will turn out exactly as He planned.

I am such a changed person for what I've experienced in my life lately. I'm not saying that I've changed for the better. I've just changed. This year I hit absolutely the lowest point in my entire life. I was completely hopeless. I found myself in a situation that I didn't think I could endure anymore. I felt like there was no way out and no one to talk to that would even begin to understand how I felt. I'm certain that my husband thought I was completely crazy when I tried to talk to him about my feelings. He was the only one I really talked to about the situation. I kept everything under wraps from everyone else. I felt so alone.

I needed God desperately and I felt like He wasn't there anymore. I couldn't feel Him. I didn't hear from Him like I once did. I grew so far from Him that eventually I just stopped looking for Him. I spent my days feeling sorry for myself and wondering if and how I would ever get out of the horror that I was living. I spiraled quickly into a total mess that couldn't even get through a day without crying at least twice. I hated who I had become and thought I would never again be that strong, spiritual woman I had once been.

And then God opened a door for me. After eight months of enduring what seemed like hell, it ended. That trial was finally over! And much to my surprise, I had survived! I was worn and ragged, but I made it through nonetheless. That chapter of my life closed and a new one began.

My new endeavor started one month ago today. I found myself again in unchartered waters. I was scared to embark on another new journey. I again felt vulnerable and clueless. I put my faith in God and pushed forward.

I'm pleased to say that I'm really happy in my new journey. It's completely different than anything I've ever done but it's rewarding and I feel good about what I'm doing. It has resulted in many changes for me and my family. I have considerably less alone time now but more time with my family. I still have a lot to learn as I continue on this path.

I certainly am still not where I once was spiritually. I think back about how close I was to the Lord and it saddens me that I'm not there anymore. I felt like I had such a personal, even supernatural relationship with God. I miss that. I regret more than anything that I've lost that. I can't even really explain what it felt like to experience God in that way. It was like an overwhelming sense of peace resulting in a warm tingling that seemed to envelope my whole body. It was a fullness in my chest during worship that I knew without a doubt was the Holy Spirit. It was a feeling that God had this and God had me and everything would be alright.

Well, now I must turn my eyes to Jesus and seek Him with everything that I have. My personal goal is to grow again in the Lord and to accomplish His purpose for me. I would love to experience Him again in the ways that I once have. I have a feeling that through this recent trial that I have endured, God was preparing me for something even greater than I can imagine.

Mark 12:30

New International Version (NIV)

³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
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Lost

I sit here staring at this blank screen wondering how I'm going to say everything that I need to say. It's not that I don't feel like I can get it all out there, it's that I want to do it in a way that is most pleasing to God. I want to honor him with these words and with my life. Writing has always come easily to me and I know now that this is one of my God-given gifts. I often feel like I'm not even the one writing these words. They can flow through me so readily and rapidly that I feel more like an instrument for the words of God to flow through.

I realize that unless you have experienced God in this way, you may not understand what I'm even talking about. I have experienced Our Heavenly Father in a way that many others may not even know is possible. I am blessed to have seen him, heard him and felt him in my life. I have physically heard his voice calling my name. I have seen images that can only be described as from the spiritual realm. I have felt the physical touch of his hand on the back of my neck. Most of these experiences have come to me late at night while I am drifting off to sleep. I have often wondered if this is the ideal time for God to interact with me because my mind is at rest and free from distraction.

Well, anyway, I'm really just stalling because I know that what I need to say is going to be difficult. Admitting your own weakness is certainly never easy. I'll start by saying that lately I have been so consumed by the negative aspects of my life that I haven't even been living my life. Let me take you back to the very beginning . . .

I had felt for several months that I needed to make a job change. I can't really explain it other than I just knew it was time for me to move on and that God's work for me was somewhere else. I found a job at a completely different facility. I applied, interviewed and was offered the job. I struggled greatly with my decision. I didn't really feel like I had a sense of what God wanted me to do. After much prayer, I decided to take the job.

I knew by day two of orientation that I had made a huge mistake. I was not happy in my new job. I continued on, hoping that the newness would wear off, my uneasiness would subside and I would grow to like my new endeavor. That didn't happen. My dislike grew to hatred and I gradually became completely consumed by trying to figure out how to get out of my new job. I was desperate for an immediate change. I was beginning to make myself and my family miserable. I couldn't function outside of my job. I feel like I was trying to do a decent job in my work and my superiors told me that they were very pleased with how I was doing. However, outside of work I completely shut down. All of my relationships began to suffer. I felt so sorry for myself that I could barely function. I put everything on hold, pending on my much-anticipated job change. I was just waiting for my life to return to a more favorable state. I stopped doing God's work. I stopped singing with the worship team at church. I eventually stopped posting in my blog. I no longer read the bible on a regular basis.

I will say that I prayed all the time. I prayed for my family and friends, but I mostly prayed for myself and my job issues. I begged and pleaded with the Lord several times each day.  My vision blurred on the long drives to and from work as I wept bitterly, pouring my heart out to God.

I then discovered a new job. It was completely different from my previous work. I could really see myself in this job and I thought that I would really prosper in this new opportunity. It was a newly-created position that I thought God made just for me. I soared quickly and easily through the interview process. I was told that my interview was excellent and that I presented myself very well. I thought the job was surely mine.

And then I got the email. They offered the job to someone else! I completely lost it. I hit rock bottom. I felt like I was drowning in a pit of despair. I was trapped in this job that I hate and now there was no hope of any way out! I had pinned all of my hope to this job that now belonged to someone else. I was angry and confused. I felt so sad and betrayed. I cried out bitterly to God. Why?!! Why did this happen?!! What did I do to deserve this?!! Why would God want me to be miserable in my work? I thought and said things that I regretted. I yelled at my husband. I hated myself and felt responsible for the state of my life. What was I to do now? I didn't know how I could go on. I couldn't keep going back to that job that I hate. I just couldn't! What was I going to do? I wanted to completely give up on my job and my life. I felt lost.  

After tossing and turning all night I managed to drag myself to church the next morning, still feeling sorry for myself. I could hardly believe it when I heard the sermon. I thought that Pastor Greg was talking directly to me. I realize that the message was for me but that it was God who was doing the talking. Pastor Greg spoke about how the Lord has been working on him for the past month. He said that God was doing surgery on his soul and that he was removing the pride from his life. He said he didn't even know that he had this pride until the Lord showed it to him. He accounted that the process was very difficult and painful and that he fought it at first but that the Lord has helped him to grow spiritually into a completely new man. He said God was moving him to tell us all to give our sins and burdens over to God so he can work within us and heal us.

It was then that I recognized how selfish I was being. I wanted a perfect job and a perfect life and I was throwing a fit about it. I wanted things my way and I was not at all interested in what God wanted me to do. I realized that sometimes being in God's will is not easy and not comfortable. I went to the alter to pray and make myself right before the Lord. I felt humbled, cleansed and renewed.

I'm not going to tell you that I magically have a sudden love for my job because I don't. I can say that I do feel a sense of peace about the situation. I know that this journey that I'm on will probably continue to be difficult and somewhat painful. I've come to terms with the fact that for some reason the Lord wants me to be right where I am right now. He may have some kind of work for me there or maybe he will work within me through this experience to help me grow spiritually and be a better servant for him. Even though it's not easy to move on without knowing where God's plan will lead, I will go forward trusting in him and having faith that he knows what is best for me.

James 5:7-12

⁷ Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. ⁸ You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. ⁹ Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

¹⁰ Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
¹² Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.
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Heaven

OK, here it is. The following words are simply the most treasured, intimate and precious words that I have received from the Lord. I have kept them close to me, in my heart and hidden from others. I have only shared them with a few trusted friends. They touch my soul so much that I can't help but weep every time that I read them. These words breathe spiritual life into me, soothing me with such peace and comfort that I can almost feel the Lord's arms wrapped around me as I read them. I realize that you may not have the same response to them because they are from our Heavenly Father and specific to me. I have actually considered never sharing these words with anyone because they are so intimate. I believe that the Lord gave me these words for a reason and wants me to share them with as many people as I can. Breathe them in and feel the presence of God as you read them.

July 3, 2009
Stay alert, my child. I am coming. When you least expect it, I will be here. Make sure you and those you love are ready. Tell them the Good News. There is so much more than just this life. You cannot even imagine the beauty of heaven. Your worries, cares, sickness and sin will all be left behind. You have perfection through me and will enjoy eternal perfection in heaven. The most beautiful part of heaven is being in the eternal, loving presence of my Heavenly Father. Imagine him wrapping his loving arms around you and giving you the best hug ever . . . that lasts forever. You have experienced only a small little slice of what heaven will be like: the feeling of the Holy Spirit in you, enjoying a moment of love and laughter with your family and friends, the feeling of having an open channel of worship to the Lord, the moment your son was placed in your arms for the very first time, the day you gave your life to me, the day your son will give his life to me, the day you married your best friend and true love, the moment that you realized the sacrifice I made for you so that you could be free from all of your sins, the day you realized that you too could have a personal, interactive relationship with me and our Heavenly Father, the day you really began to understand that I will love you no matter what, the first time you realized that you do make a difference in this world (when you played an integral part in saving someone's life,) the first time you realized that you do make a difference in the spiritual realm (you planted or watered a seed and helped lead someone to me.) This is only a small portion of what heaven will be. How much more, you cannot even imagine.

Revelation 21

21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”^[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
⁶ He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. ⁷ Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children."

Roadblock

Sometimes life is so hard. Making a decision that will affect your life and your family's life in a huge way is certainly difficult. So many hours of praying and waiting with still no clear direction from God is indeed a challenge. When this happens, I recommend that you follow your first instinct. It is usually the one that comes from your heart. If your heart is actively seeking God, this first instinct is usually the right one.

I believe that we can get in a place in our life when we just need a change. We can get burnt out and lose the passion that we once felt for what we've been doing for the last fourteen years. When we get to this point, any change can look good. I also believe that the devil can entice us into making a change that is not right for us at that time. He will make it look great. He can even make it look like it is something that is God's will.

Have you ever made an important decision and then discovered within about 2 days that you made the wrong one? It's such a horrible feeling. You can't go back to what you had before because what's done is done. And when you think about it you know you don't really want to go back because deep down inside it doesn't feel right to you anymore either. You're trapped. You feel caught between a rock and a hard place. You long for something different but aren't sure what that is or where that is. What do you do now? Who do you turn to?

Well, I believe the only answer is to turn to Jesus. He is always the right answer. Even when we have made the most horrible decisions possible, Jesus will always be right there beside us. He knows us even better than we know ourselves. He knows our deepest, most intimate thoughts . . . the things within our hearts that we've never told anyone about because we are too ashamed. Jesus knows all of this about us and he still loves us unconditionally. He loves us so much that he endured tremendous pain and suffering while he died for our sins. Who else do you know that has done this for you? He died for me and he died for you. Why did he do this? He did these things for us so that we could be saved from a horrible fate . . . eternal separation from God (also know as spending the rest of your life in hell.) What an amazing gift that is available to anyone who will accept it! What do you have to do to accept it? Simply acknowledge that you have sinned, ask Jesus to forgive you, recognize that he died for your sins and rose again and then ask him to guide your life. You will be amazed at what will happen. I know that I was.

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm realizing that I made the wrong decision. (Oh how difficult it is to admit that you're wrong, especially when it includes telling your husband that he was right.) But I'm also trusting in God. I'm looking to him as I take this one day at a time. I'm worshipping him in the midst of this turmoil. I'm seeking his face with all of my heart and soul. I know that I need him and can do nothing (NOTHING) without him. I will wait patiently as he finds a place for me. I also realize that God knew that I would make this wrong decision and I will try to accomplish his work while I am there. These are just a few of the words I got from the Lord this morning, "Oh, my child, I love you. I am yours and you are mine. Sometimes you must make the wrong decision to find the right one. I will bring good of this if you let me. Look to me and trust me in this. Continue to worship me with all of your heart, my daughter. I will never leave you: not in this, not ever. You are precious to me and I want what is good and right for you."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Oh and one more thing. . . if you pray that God will block something if it is not his will and then you literally drive up to a road block on your way to the thing you've been praying about, take it seriously. It may indeed be God's way of telling you that he is "blocking" it.
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Blessed

I sit here on the porch in the beauty of the day. It is my favorite place to spend time with the Lord. I love to sit there rocking back and forth on the bench reading my bible and listening to the sounds of His wonderful creation. I can hear many different types of birds chirping harmoniously, creating a wonderfully soothing melody. The sun shines brightly as it filters through the leaves of the many trees in our yard. The squirrels playfully scurry about as they chase each other around trees. I can see a couple of bees buzzing nearby. I can feel the peace in the Lord's loving creation all around me. It beckons me. I feel a sense of God saying to me, "I created all of this for you because I love you and I want you to enjoy all of the beauty around you." I think of this and all of the blessings the Lord has poured into my life and I feel truly overwhelmed by His goodness and grace. He has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. I feel humbled by all that the Lord has given me and done for me. I give all of my thanks and praise to Him. I acknowledge that everything that I have is from my Heavenly Father. He has saved my life. He has saved my soul. He has saved my marriage. He has blessed me with a healthy, happy son when I was told that I would probably never be able to bear children. He has given me a wonderful Christian husband who loves me with all of his heart. The Lord has placed me in a fulfilling job in which I am truly happy. I get to help others who are sick and injured while I work alongside a group of truly amazing coworkers. I feel blessed to work with people who care about others and will help them and me in our times of need. My cup runneth over. I continue to sit and enjoy the peace of God's creation. I can feel Him in the creation all around me. He is the gentle breeze blowing through my hair. He is with me always and He loves me. I am His daughter and He is my Father.

Psalm 23:5-6

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

Distracted . . . to Peaceful

I spent time with the Lord this morning. I prayed for those in my life who are ill, hurting or need prayer in other ways. Then I sat and listened. At first, I didn't get any words from the Lord. I sat there at the table and listened to the sounds of the house: the washing machine swishing, the dryer running and the tick-tocking of a nearby clock. I really tried to focus and relax. I shut my eyes. I thought I could hear the faint humming of the refrigerator. I found that as hard as I was trying, I just couldn't obtain complete concentration due to the lack of silence. My thoughts were interrupted by these random sounds. I was distracted by the things around me. I really thought about this and realized that God was showing me something important here. It reminded me of a vision that I had a few years ago.

I can actually remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at the triage desk at work waiting for the next patient to come. I was looking out the front window when I saw a vision of a long road or path. At the end of the path was the Lord. The path was littered with a lot of large debris like fallen trees, garbage, man-made things, etc. In order to get down this path to the Lord, I must remove all of the debris. With each piece of debris that I remove, the easier it is to get down the path and the closer I get to the Lord. The path in this vision is my life and my walk with the Lord. The debris is every distraction (good or bad) that gets in the way of me following the Lord. I must put all things aside to focus on the Lord. This includes all of the emotional "garbage" that I've collected over the years as well as the worldly distractions that are all around me.

How easy is it to let things of the world distract us from spending necessary time with the Lord? It doesn't take much for us to get caught up in worldly desires and activities. These distractions aren't always considered "sinful" either. Watching too much television or spending a lot of time surfing the Internet can certainly interfere with our devotional time. I admit that I have actually let my favorite hobby of knitting come between me and God. The Lord wants our best. He wants our first, not our last. He wants our attention, devotion, love, faithfulness and time. He wants us to come to Him regularly to completely give ourselves over to Him. He wants us to follow Him and be like Him. That's one reason He gave us Jesus. He sent His Son to this world as a living, breathing, perfect example for us to follow. Then He documented these specific examples of perfection from Jesus' life in the Holy Bible. He wants us to read it and to learn about Jesus so that we can be like Him. And then He wants us to teach our children how to be like Jesus. He doesn't want us to stop there, He wants us to tell our family, our friends, our coworkers, our enemies - well, pretty much everyone we can about Jesus and His perfect example of life. We need to tell others how He is working in our lives and share the Good News. That is why I started this blog, to share God and what He is doing in my life with anyone who is willing to sit and read it.

I'm certainly not perfect. Trust me, I am far from perfection. Jesus is the only person who is truly perfect in every way. I'm just saying that when I feel the Lord prompting me to do or say something, I try to be obedient. This is sometimes very difficult. Often people look at me like I'm an absolute freak. But that's OK, I don't really care. I just want to carry out God's plan for me. I feel that if I don't respond to God's calling, I or someone else will most likely miss out on His wonderful blessings.

I will admit that lately I haven't been spending time in the Lord like I should. I can feel a difference in myself and see a difference in my life. First of all I can tell that I'm just a little grumpier or crankier than usual. I don't get along with my family as well. It seems like we argue and disagree more. I just feel uneasy or unsettled . . . like I don't have that peace. You know, the peace of God that transcends all understanding? When I don't spend regular time with God, that peace is gone. I hate that. And then when I start to draw closer to Him again, the peace returns like water gently flowing over me. That, my friends, is truly the greatest feeling in the world - the peace of God. Have you experienced it? 

Rebirth

I sit here in the sun on this beautiful Spring day. The air is crisp and fresh as it gently blows through my hair. This birds are chirping. The world is budding with new life. It is a rebirth. I think of Spring with all of the renewal of life. The flowers are budding as they start to break through the soil. Baby birds are hatching and entering the world for the first time. The grass is a rich green color as it sheds off the dead brown of winter slumber. I drink in all of the activity around me and I can't help but think of one word - hope. I feel excited as I think of the hope of what the coming months will bring. What experiences and new memories with I have with family and friends? How will the Lord use me and grow me for His purpose?

Our greatest hope is found in the ultimate rebirth - the rebirth of Jesus as He rose again from within His tomb. He rose again so that we could experience life and love in freedom through Him and His death. It is only because of His selfless sacrifice that we do not have to endure eternal death and separation from God. God knows that all of His children will sin at some point in their lives (except for Jesus, of course.) The Lord is perfect and just in all ways and can only accept sinless, perfect people. He therefore requires us to pay for our sins in the form of death. Jesus stepped up and offered Himself in our place so that we would not have to pay this deadly price for our sins. If we accept Jesus, believing that He died for us and rose again, we will experience eternity in heaven with Him. This is the only way to enter into heaven. In John 14:6-7, Jesus says “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know^[a] my Father as well." The other thing that we are blessed with through Jesus' death and rebirth is the Holy Spirit. This Spirit lives within all believers and allows us to come to the Lord in prayer and worship whenever we want. The Holy Spirit allows us to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father. Through the Spirit, we can experience God and His love for us in ways that we never thought were possible.

Romans 8

Life Through the Spirit

 ¹ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

 ⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

 ⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life^[d] because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of^[e] his Spirit who lives in you.

 ¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

 ¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. http://www.biblegateway.com/

Standing on the Corner

     A few days ago I left work early. We were overstaffed and I didn't have a patient assignment so I asked if I could leave early. As I was driving down the street, I noticed a man standing on the corner holding a sign. He was wearing a bright fluorescent orange vest that a road worker would wear. He was just standing on that corner holding the sign, smiling and waving at people as they drove by. I had seen the same man on the same corner a couple of times before, although I thought it was two or three years earlier. I hadn't really given him much thought before. I just drove on by and carried on with the rest of my day. As I sat at the stoplight on that particular day, I watched the man. For the first time, I really saw the man and thought about what he was doing. The sign he was holding read "Jesus Christ is the name above all names."

     I thought about how difficult it must have been for that man to stand there with that sign for the first time. I'm sure that many people driving by him every day must think he is absolutely crazy standing there with that sign. When the Lord first called the man to minister in this way, he must have thought, "You want me to do what? Really?" It is human nature for us to care about what others think of us. I admired that man and his courage for being obedient to God's calling.
     I then thought about the physical discomfort involved in standing out there on the corner for who knows how many hours. It was pretty cold on the day that I saw him. Did he stand out there in the snow and rain? What about lightening? Had he ever gotten scorched by the sun's rays while he shared the love of God with others? Did he ever almost get hit by a car? How far would this man go? What would he endure to carry out God's purpose for him? And then I wondered, "What would I endure to fulfill God's will?" Would I endure physical discomfort? Pain? Ridicule? Torture? Would I even endure uncertainty about the future, not knowing where God's plan would take me?

     I know it seems crazy to think that I pondered all of these things as I watched the man with the sign for that brief moment. I then realized that God put that man there for me to see. He wanted me to see the man's amazing obedience to him despite the certainty of being judged by others. He also wanted me to see his steadfast endurance and faith in God as he withstood unpleasant and potentially dangerous environmental conditions. I remembered thinking about seeing the man there two or three years earlier. The Lord brought to mind the man's continued faithfulness and obedience as he continued to follow the Lord's calling for him for all of those years. God wanted me to see that man and to evaluate my own life and my own obedience to Him. He wanted me to ask myself, "Do I have what it takes to stand on the corner alongside that man, proclaiming the word of God to everyone passing by?" Do you have what it takes?

Deuteronomy 5:33
Walk in obedience to all that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.
Romans 5:19
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
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Merry CHRISTmas

Christmas is such an amazing time of year. It is my favorite time of the year. Everyone seems nicer and happier. It seems like there is more love in the air. However, Christmas can also be very stressful. All of the decoration hanging, gift buying, present wrapping and card sending can really be taxing. Sometimes it seems like you will never get everything accomplished before the big day. When Christmas day finally comes, it is over in a flash. Ripping through all of those presents can often leave many people feeling empty and unfulfilled. All of that preparation . . . and then it's over in an instant. Why do so many people feel like this at Christmas time?

I feel that it is because we often put too much focus on the wrong things. Don't get me wrong, we do the decorations, tree, gifts, etc in my family. It has become a special Christmas tradition. But we also focus on the most important gift ever given, the gift of a baby in a manger who was destined to sacrifice his life so that we could live. Jesus is the ultimate gift of love and life. I have caught myself focusing so much on all of the other details surrounding Christmas that I almost forgot the most important part - CHRIST! He is the reason we even celebrate Christmas. Please take the time to read Luke 2:1 - 20:
¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while^[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

 ⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

 ⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

 ¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 ¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
   and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
 ¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
 ¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

These are the words the Lord has given me about Christmas:
Focus on me in the midst of this season, my child. You must celebrate me and the birth of my son, Jesus Christ. Think not only of how he humbly came as an infant child but also of how he sacrificed his life for you in the most amazing gift ever given - the eternal gift of love and freedom. Ponder these things as you celebrate with your family and friends. Celebrate in the name of Jesus and make these things known to those you love.

May you all have a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends. Please take the time to remember Christ in Christmas! Glory to God in the highest!
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A Fresh Perspective

The following are the first words that I have received from the Lord. I received them during one of the busiest times of my life. We were having a house built and we did a fair amount of the work ourselves. We had to make so many decisions at the time that I couldn't hardly focus. And then I can remember overwhelmingly feeling like I needed to write something. I wasn't to write just anything, I was to write a salvation piece. I can remember sitting among my paint samples, home decorating catalogs and floor plan sketches writing these words like a woman possessed. I felt and still feel that these words are not my words. It is difficult to explain, but I felt like an instrument. These words just flowed through me. Honestly, I could never write anything this amazing on my own. I feel like God wants these words to be shared with as many people as possible. I believe that is the reason he moved be to start this blog: to share his words and his work in my life with others. Please, please, please pass this site on to your family and friends. I want to reach as many people as possible with God's words. These are the first words the Lord gave me:

     I used to be dead inside and I didn't even know it. I would wake up in the morning, prepare for my day, go to work, come home ,eat supper, watch TV and go to bed. I was going through the motions of everyday life. I was living my life without actually feeling much of anything. I figured this was probably normal. After a while, life just becomes monotonous.
     Something was missing. I just couldn't pinpoint what that "something" was. Maybe it was a better job, a bigger house, a slimmer body, a happier marriage, the baby that I wanted so much . . .

     I was constantly striving for some seemingly unattainable goal. When I would finally achieve a goal, I was left feeling empty, frustrated and unfulfilled. I always wanted more. I was never happy; never quite satisfied. I was blinded by the negative aspects of every situation. Everything and everyone in my life fell short of my high expectations, including myself. I didn't like myself or my life and I couldn't even explain why.

     And then I found a new life: a fresh perspective, a clear focus, a sense of joy and peace, forgiveness for all of my shortcomings, a bright light shining through the darkness, an awakening in my heart.

     I found all of this and I wasn't even looking for it. I didn't know I was missing it or that I needed it. I didn't even know what "it" was. It had never been a part of my life before; not because I didn't want it but because I had never known it.

     "It" changed my life; not overnight, but gradually and subtly. Sometimes the changes were easy and joyful, like a heavy weight being lifted from my shoulders. Other changes were painful and difficult to bear. I now realize that those challenges were meant to serve as sandpaper, to smooth our my rough edges, polish me, and make me the best person I can be. I even continue to change now. I'm sure that I will be changing throughout the rest of my life.

     Honestly, "it" was not an "it" at all, but a "he." He loves me unconditionally. Every time I ask him to forgive me, he does so without question or hesitation. He is my best friend; always here when I need him and even when I think I don't need him. He knows me inside and out, even better than I know myself. He never does or says anything hurtful or destructive. He gives me strength when I am weak. He always builds me up and never tears me down. He loves me so much that he endured tremendous pain and suffering for me. He died for me; paid for my sins so that I wouldn't have to. His love for me is so great that he wants me to spend eternal life with Him in paradise.
     He does all of this for me and he will do it for you, too, if you want him to. His name is Jesus. He is ready to come into your heart and into you life. You need to find a quiet place by yourself and ask him to fill your heart with his presence and take control of you life. Now, take a deep breath and read the following scripture:
Romans 3:23: ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Romans 6:23: ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
John 3:16: ¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:3: ³ Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.^[a]”

John 14:6: ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Romans 10:9,10: ⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
2 Corinthians 5:15: ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
Revelation 3:20: ²⁰ Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

     If you feel in your heart that you are ready to start a relationship with Jesus and receive your eternal salvation, then please pray the following prayer:
     Heavenly Father, I have sinned against you. I want forgiveness for all of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me and rose again. Father, I give you my life to do with what you want. Lord, please help me to live my life for you, daily seeking your will for me and casting aside my own sinful ways. I want Jesus Christ to come into my life and into my heart. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
     It doesn't end there.Now you have to try to live your life following God's will and not your own desires. Live to please God and fulfill his purpose for you. Relinquish control to him and he will bless you. "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised" (Hebrew 10:36). "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus: (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Read God's word frequently and live by those words. The bible says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (James 1:22). Praise the Lord throughout each day. "Through Jesus, therefore let us continually offer a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess His name" (Hebrews 13:15). Find the right church for you and attend regularly to worship God and fellowship with other Christians. Hebrews 10:25 reads, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
     Just knowing about Jesus is not enough, you must know him on a personal level. Trying to be a good person will not gain you entrance into heaven, you must walk with Jesus daily to experience God's eternal, magnificent greatness. Jesus said, "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven" (Matthew 10:32,33).
     Walking with Jesus will not erase all pain and suffering from your life. You will still experience hardship, sorrow and temptation. The Lord wants you to find strength and comfort in Him always, especially when you are struggling. "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall: (Psalm 55:22). Know also that "God is faithful: he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it: (1 Corinthians 10:13). God himself will never tempt you. "For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed: (James 1: 13,14).
     God knows that you aren't perfect and never will be. He knows that you will still make mistakes. According to Ecclesiastes 7:16, "There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins." Continue to recognize your sins, confess then to Jesus and ask forgiveness for those sins. "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). He will forgive you of all your sins if you ask him. God's word ways, "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more" (Hebrews 10:17).
     God wants us to be like him and like his son, Jesus. The Lord put Jesus in this world to live as a man so that he would experience our pain and be an example for all of us. learn as much about Jesus as you can and try to live your life in his perfect example. As stated in Ephesians, we are to "be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (5:1,2).

     Jesus will be with you at all times; through good and bad. He said, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). Jesus wants to come into your life and into your heart. "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.: (Matthew 11:28-30). Seek him always!

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