Heaven

OK, here it is. The following words are simply the most treasured, intimate and precious words that I have received from the Lord. I have kept them close to me, in my heart and hidden from others. I have only shared them with a few trusted friends. They touch my soul so much that I can't help but weep every time that I read them. These words breathe spiritual life into me, soothing me with such peace and comfort that I can almost feel the Lord's arms wrapped around me as I read them. I realize that you may not have the same response to them because they are from our Heavenly Father and specific to me. I have actually considered never sharing these words with anyone because they are so intimate. I believe that the Lord gave me these words for a reason and wants me to share them with as many people as I can. Breathe them in and feel the presence of God as you read them.

July 3, 2009
Stay alert, my child. I am coming. When you least expect it, I will be here. Make sure you and those you love are ready. Tell them the Good News. There is so much more than just this life. You cannot even imagine the beauty of heaven. Your worries, cares, sickness and sin will all be left behind. You have perfection through me and will enjoy eternal perfection in heaven. The most beautiful part of heaven is being in the eternal, loving presence of my Heavenly Father. Imagine him wrapping his loving arms around you and giving you the best hug ever . . . that lasts forever. You have experienced only a small little slice of what heaven will be like: the feeling of the Holy Spirit in you, enjoying a moment of love and laughter with your family and friends, the feeling of having an open channel of worship to the Lord, the moment your son was placed in your arms for the very first time, the day you gave your life to me, the day your son will give his life to me, the day you married your best friend and true love, the moment that you realized the sacrifice I made for you so that you could be free from all of your sins, the day you realized that you too could have a personal, interactive relationship with me and our Heavenly Father, the day you really began to understand that I will love you no matter what, the first time you realized that you do make a difference in this world (when you played an integral part in saving someone's life,) the first time you realized that you do make a difference in the spiritual realm (you planted or watered a seed and helped lead someone to me.) This is only a small portion of what heaven will be. How much more, you cannot even imagine.

Revelation 21

21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”^[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
⁶ He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. ⁷ Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children."

Roadblock

Sometimes life is so hard. Making a decision that will affect your life and your family's life in a huge way is certainly difficult. So many hours of praying and waiting with still no clear direction from God is indeed a challenge. When this happens, I recommend that you follow your first instinct. It is usually the one that comes from your heart. If your heart is actively seeking God, this first instinct is usually the right one.

I believe that we can get in a place in our life when we just need a change. We can get burnt out and lose the passion that we once felt for what we've been doing for the last fourteen years. When we get to this point, any change can look good. I also believe that the devil can entice us into making a change that is not right for us at that time. He will make it look great. He can even make it look like it is something that is God's will.

Have you ever made an important decision and then discovered within about 2 days that you made the wrong one? It's such a horrible feeling. You can't go back to what you had before because what's done is done. And when you think about it you know you don't really want to go back because deep down inside it doesn't feel right to you anymore either. You're trapped. You feel caught between a rock and a hard place. You long for something different but aren't sure what that is or where that is. What do you do now? Who do you turn to?

Well, I believe the only answer is to turn to Jesus. He is always the right answer. Even when we have made the most horrible decisions possible, Jesus will always be right there beside us. He knows us even better than we know ourselves. He knows our deepest, most intimate thoughts . . . the things within our hearts that we've never told anyone about because we are too ashamed. Jesus knows all of this about us and he still loves us unconditionally. He loves us so much that he endured tremendous pain and suffering while he died for our sins. Who else do you know that has done this for you? He died for me and he died for you. Why did he do this? He did these things for us so that we could be saved from a horrible fate . . . eternal separation from God (also know as spending the rest of your life in hell.) What an amazing gift that is available to anyone who will accept it! What do you have to do to accept it? Simply acknowledge that you have sinned, ask Jesus to forgive you, recognize that he died for your sins and rose again and then ask him to guide your life. You will be amazed at what will happen. I know that I was.

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm realizing that I made the wrong decision. (Oh how difficult it is to admit that you're wrong, especially when it includes telling your husband that he was right.) But I'm also trusting in God. I'm looking to him as I take this one day at a time. I'm worshipping him in the midst of this turmoil. I'm seeking his face with all of my heart and soul. I know that I need him and can do nothing (NOTHING) without him. I will wait patiently as he finds a place for me. I also realize that God knew that I would make this wrong decision and I will try to accomplish his work while I am there. These are just a few of the words I got from the Lord this morning, "Oh, my child, I love you. I am yours and you are mine. Sometimes you must make the wrong decision to find the right one. I will bring good of this if you let me. Look to me and trust me in this. Continue to worship me with all of your heart, my daughter. I will never leave you: not in this, not ever. You are precious to me and I want what is good and right for you."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Oh and one more thing. . . if you pray that God will block something if it is not his will and then you literally drive up to a road block on your way to the thing you've been praying about, take it seriously. It may indeed be God's way of telling you that he is "blocking" it.
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The End of a Journey

Lately as I work, I can't help but think about how my time there is almost over. I have only a few short days until this chapter of my life will end and a new chapter will begin. I remember when I first started fourteen and a half years ago as a brand new nurse. I was completely clueless and very naive. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. To be completely honest, it was pretty rough at first but I somehow survived and even prospered.

I have accumulated an abundance of knowledge over these years. My experience is truly priceless and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel like I've seen or done just about everything possible. I've encountered people at their best and people at their worst. I've been involved in situations that have made me cry from the deepest part of my soul, wondering why the Lord would allow someone to suffer so tremendously. I've enjoyed triumphs greater than I could have ever imagined. I'd like to think that I've touched the lives of some of my patients. Many of them have genuinely touched my life.

My coworkers have become like my family. I have had days that I don't think I could have endured without them. We've shared so many tears and a lot of laughter. We've been each other's listening ears and encouragers. I feel honored and privileged to have worked so closely with such a great group of people. We have worked together as one unit, doing whatever it takes to get the job done right. Anyone who wonders what real teamwork looks like should get a glimpse of the staff of an emergency department or trauma unit. I have really enjoyed working with them all of these years. They are an invaluable wealth of knowledge and experience. I would trust them completely with my own life. I will miss them so much. I am choking back tears just thinking about it as I type this.

It was very difficult for me to make this decision. I didn't really have a clear direction from the Lord in this. I believe that a lot of the uncertainty stemmed from the sacrifices that accompany this choice. I will be driving 19 miles farther and will be taking a significant pay cut initially. Sometimes we must make sacrifices to be in God's will. He has made the ultimate sacrifice for us and he expects us to sacrifice for him as well.

When I went to job shadow, I knew that the job would be a good fit for me and that I would enjoy it. I also had this overwhelming feeling that they need me and that I am meant to be there at this time in my life. I feel like I have made the right decision. I remember someone telling me once that God doesn't want us to be comfortable in our lives. He wants us to step outside of the box and rely completely on him. If we were always comfortable then we would probably feel very self-sufficient and would think we didn't need God at all.

I have to admit that I feel a bit anxious as I look forward to starting my new job. I had a complete meltdown the day I put in my two week notice. I literally sat on the living room floor sobbing as I wondered if I had made a huge mistake. Change, whether good or bad, is always difficult. We are safe in our daily routines, seeing the same people we see every day and doing the things we've done hundreds or thousands of times. It feels very uneasy to embark on a new journey when the future is uncertain. It's hard to take the first step when you can't see the rest of the staircase.

I will move forward in faith and trust in the Lord and his plan for me. I completely put this into his hands. I know that he has great things in store for me and probably a few new life lessons along the way.

2 Corinthians 5:7

⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight.

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