Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and fearful when I focus on all of the evil that is occurring in the world. At times it can feel defeating. Perhaps you don't realize this, but there is a spiritual battle occurring all around us. Even though most people can't see it, the forces of good and evil are engaging in spiritual warfare. Angels are battling demons. However, we do not need to fear or feel overwhelmed. We can take comfort in the fact that Jesus has defeated evil through his death and resurrection. In Matthew 28:18, Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." This means that Jesus has power and authority over the devil and his evil schemes. But the devil still wants to wreak havoc in our lives and destroy us. 1 Peter 5:8 relays this message clearly, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." Ephesians 6:12 also addresses this battle, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm."
So how can we withstand the devil and his evil demons that want to destroy us? We find the answer in scripture. First, we are instructed to not become immersed in the things of this world (such as money, material items, lust, sex, etc.) but to instead seek God and His will.
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
- 1 John 2:15-17
Then we are instructed to resist the devil, have faith in God, and receive strength from Him.
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
- 1 Peter 5:9-11
We have power through God and our faith in him. We can wage our own battle against evil through this power.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
- 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
So what are these weapons mentioned in the above verse? One of my favorite passages of scripture describes the weapons that we can use to combat evil. See the information below that I clipped from my prayer journal to gain a better understanding of these weapons.
I'm going to end this post by recommending that you listen to the song in the video below. It is an amazing, powerful song that speaks to our power over the devil's schemes in our lives. I hope that this song becomes an inspiration to you like it has become for me.
In complete transparency I have been avoiding writing this post. I have been feeling pressured to deliver something amazing; something better than the previous post and the post before that. And so I have been dragging my feet and avoiding writing this post.
Here's another confession: I am a total perfectionist. Anyone who knows me at all is aware of this. I desire to be perfect in all that I do. I struggle to let things go because of my ongoing desire for perfection. I spend hours upon hours working to create end products that are completely perfect. One example of this involves black raspberries. We live on a small farm that has some overgrown fence rows that contain many, many wild raspberry bushes. I didn't realize how many raspberries there were until I become intent upon picking them. I decided that it was my job to pick all of the black raspberries so they would not go to waste. I picked raspberries for hours in 88 degree weather while wearing long pants and long sleeves to deter ticks and injury from thorns. I was determined as I entered unchartered raspberry patches while enduring thorns that ripped through my clothes and into the tender skin on my arms, hands, and legs. I became overwhelmed by the sheer number of raspberries. I was a woman possessed. I was scraped, poked, scratched, and bleeding. I looked like small animals had mauled me during me sleep. After three and a half hours of picking, I finally realized that it was not feasible or healthy for me to pick every raspberry. I was only able to pick about one third of the raspberries. I decided to let the rest go, which was incredibly difficult for me as a perfectionist.
Before you continue on in this post, do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to listen to and reflect upon the song below. It is such a powerful song that will help to set the tone for the rest of this post.
I don't know about you, but my desire for perfection is an ongoing battle that I struggle with daily that sometimes interrupts my ability to find peace within myself and my life. When I reflect upon this song and what it means to me, I realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never actually achieve perfection. I am human and will therefore never be perfect. I also realize that I don't have to be perfect. According to scripture, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus is perfect and He sacrificed His life to make us holy and perfect in the eyes of God. Please pause and take some time read about Jesus' death in John 19 and His resurrection in John 20. According to Hebrews 10: 14 - 18, we are made perfect through Jesus' sacrifice:
Because by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First He says:
"This is the covenant I will make with them
after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds."
Then He adds:
"Their sins and lawless acts
I will remember no more."
And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.
- Hebrews 10:14-18
So how do we receive this gift of perfection through Jesus' sacrifice? Let's look again to scripture:
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
- John 3:16
That if you confess with you mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in you heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
- Romans 10:9,10
You have to first believe in Jesus and His sacrificial death and resurrection. After that, you need to confess out loud to God that you are sinful and that you believe that you are saved through Jesus's sacrifice. You should then seek to become closer to God through regular prayer and bible reading. Ask God to help you to accomplish His purpose for you within your life. Seek Him often and with passion.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
- Proverbs 3:5,6
But what does all of this mean in our ongoing struggle with perfection? As I mentioned above, we don't have to be perfect because Jesus makes us perfect through His sacrifice. The other thing that you need to know is that while God expects you to do work for Him and His kingdom while seeking His purpose for you, you will never achieve salvation or perfection through those good works; only through your acceptance of Jesus. So your good works or actions do not have to be perfect. If your actions align with God's will for your life, then He will use them for His greater purpose to draw you and others closer to Him.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
- Romans 8:28
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
- Ephesians 2:10
So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed with the pressure to be perfect, take a deep breath and just let it go. Ask God to take that burden from you. You don't have to be perfect. God created you to be unique and wonderful. He loves you for who you are. He will meet you where you are in all of your flaws and imperfection. And if you seek Him, He will use you and the work that you do for Him to further His kingdom.
I listen to K-LOVE on a regular basis. I find it to be very encouraging and inspirational. The music really speaks to me. Just over a year ago, I signed up to receive the K-LOVE verse of the day. Shortly after, I started receiving daily notifications for my verse of the day, right on my cell phone. I received the same verse of the day. The same verse. Every. Day. I initially thought it was strange, but most likely just some kind of glitch. I performed a quick search on the K-LOVE website, their Facebook page, and even Google to see if anyone else reported the same issue. I found nothing. I proceeded on with my life, not thinking much more about it. A few months later, I decided to troubleshoot the issue again. I removed myself from receiving the verse of the day. I then signed up again to receive it. I still got that same verse on my phone every day. Hmmm. I have provided my verse of the day in the image below.
After several more months of receiving that exact same verse every day, I began to think that perhaps God was trying to tell me something. (Sometimes I'm a little slow.) God works in some very mysterious ways. Maybe He was telling me that this verse was specifically intended for me to read and reflect upon every day. Hmmmm. Maybe it's one of my life verses. I thought about that. I really considered what the Lord was trying to tell me.
Worship the Lord with gladness. Come before Him, singing with joy. - Psalm 100: 2
Worship Him with gladness. Come before him while singing with joy. Every. Day. Every single day. I got the picture. The Lord was telling me that I need to continuously worship Him, seek Him, and sing to him. Distracted with a doctorate program and a challenging full-time job, sadly I had not been doing that. What does it mean to continuously worship and seek the Lord? I believe that it may look different for each of God's children. For me, I have a sense that it means that I will have a constant open dialogue with God, like an ongoing conversation. I am to come to God daily, pray, worship through words and song, express my thanks for all that He has given me, discuss my fears and concerns, and ask for His divine assistance to help me to be the servant that he wants me to be.
It is clear as I stated above that the Lord wants us to constantly worship Him and seek Him. But what does it really mean to worship? According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the term worship is both a verb and a noun. As a verb, worship means:
"to honor or show reverence for as a divine being or supernatural power"
"to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion"
The term worship as a noun means:
"reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power"
"a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual"
"extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem"
Worship is a verb, which indicates that we as God's children can perform or carry out worship as an action to exalt Him and draw nearer to Him. As a noun, worship can be considered a thing, such as our offering to God to express our faith in Him and praise for His awesomeness. Did you notice that third definition of worship as a noun? It indicates that we can also worship objects. Oh my! Our God is a jealous God. We are to reserve our worship for Him alone!
You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and and keep my commandments.
- Exodus 20: 4 - 6
We are to worship nobody and nothing besides the Lord God Our Heavenly Father and Creator. I know what you're thinking. When would you ever create an idol and then worship it? But what you may not understand is that we have those idols in our lives already in the form of money, clothing, shoes, cars, make-up, etc. When we put those things above God, it is like we are worshiping those things instead of him. If you put a famous athlete or movie star above the Lord, you are worshipping that person instead of God. He deserves our continuous worship as our All-Powerful, Loving Creator. We need that worship to strengthen our relationship with Him. We were created to worship Him.
It seems appropriate to close this post with one of my favorite worship songs ever. I hope that you enjoy it and find that it brings you into a more meaningful place as you worship the Lord.
I've been in the desert: a spiritual desert. For four years I have been lacking spiritual growth and fulfilment. In the midst of one of the most difficult times in my life, I did not seek God as I should have and I suffered the consequences of my actions. I am still suffering. I was so busy with my life; all of those tasks. I felt that I had to do what I needed to do for my job, my research, and my dissertation. I put God up on this shelf that I rarely visited while I reached a level of function and performance that was honestly amazing. I was like a well-oiled machine. When my research was finished and my dissertation was finally completed, I found myself wandering in the desert and I was so very thirsty. And God was still on that shelf.
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God? - Psalm 42: 1, 2
Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." - John 7: 37, 38
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - John 4: 13, 14
So I began to search for that Living Water to start to quench my thirst. I prayed. I prayed some more. What did the Lord want me to do? I felt awkward. What was I going to do with myself now that my workload decreased to one fourth of what it had been? I found self care again. I began to run regularly. I prayed again. And again after that. I began knitting a sweater. (I still remembered how to knit!) I watched the movie God's Not Dead. I had seen it before and really enjoyed it. However, I was again really impressed yet also very humbled by that movie. Josh, the protagonist in the movie, displayed the kind of faith and courage that I hope to possess one day. He fought for God against great adversity. He made sacrifices within his own life to stand up for God when it seemed that nobody supported him and the easier option would be to deny God. I breathed it in and reflected upon my own geography just on the edge of the desert.
I started reading books that did not relate to research methodology or APA formatting. I found the book All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore. I struggled to really gain interest initially. However, after some consideration, I decided to continue to push through. And then it really clicked for me. I finished the book at a rather slow pace for me, trying to soak in every bit of it. It was a truly amazing, inspirational book. I laughed out loud many times. I cried repeatedly. It was so raw, yet also very polished and thoughtful. Beth Moore laid everything out there, which I appreciated so much. As I learned about Beth's life experiences and how she sought the face of God in everything that she did, I found myself reflecting upon my own life and how I want to seek God. I was inching slightly further toward the edge of the desert.
I dug into the bible. I prayed more. I came to the understanding that the Lord wanted me to come to him. I am His daughter. He missed me and has been looking forward to my return. The Lord also knows me better than I know myself. He knows that I need something to do; a special project to keep me on track. Something to fill all of that time that I devoted to the doctorate program that is now just awkward emptiness. And so this blog was born again out of my necessity for purpose while I begin to seek the face of God again. It is my accountability partner. Through this blog I will continue to find spiritual growth and nearness to my Heavenly Father. I will drink deeply from the Living Water to quench my great thirst for Jesus. My hope is that others may find some inspiration in this journey and quench their thirst as well.
I sit here lost and broken, a shell of the person I once was. I longingly recall a time of spiritual growth and fervor, a time when I sought the Lord with all of my heart and soul. My closeness to God was almost palpable. I was on fire for the Lord and I didn't care who knew it. Actually, I wanted everyone to know about my thirst for God and I made it a priority to tell them. I experienced a peace and joy that can only be described as supernatural. Regardless of life's difficulties, my peace remained constant. It was amazing and intoxicating. I was a true child of God. I felt his love as if it were pouring into me.
And now here I sit. Lost. Broken. My closeness to God has dissipated. My longing for that overwhelming peace, joy, and love causes an almost physical pain.
I think back, wondering exactly how I ended up here; in this place where I have very little connection to God. It didn't happen overnight. I believe that it gradually slipped away over months and years of apathy and lack of motivation. I let other things take priority over God.
A new job...
A master's program...
My own selfishness and desire...
My phone with all of the apps and games...
I stopped blogging.
I stopped reading the Bible.
My prayers became very infrequent.
My church attendance waned.
I stopped listening for God.
I stopped listening to God.
I stopped seeking God.
All of these things happened. Actually, they didn't happen. And now here I am. Where am I? I'm not sure. I feel like I've lost myself. The person who I have become is not the person who I want to be. She's not the person who I used to be. She is irritable, sarcastic, and downright mean at times. That is not the person who I long to be or who God expects me to be. There are times when I feel as if spiritual warfare is taking place all around me and sometimes within me. I feel restless.
How do I get back to where I once was? Going back is impossible. I can only move forward from here: commitment and motivation to seek God with all of my heart, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Sometimes you find yourself standing in the rain and you don’t really know how you got there. You long for what you’ve lost and you wish that you could go back to the way things were. You almost feel as if a part of you is missing. You get overwhelmed when you think of the things that have been said and done. These things have cut you to the core and have left a wound that will take years to heal. When the wound does finally heal it will then only be a scar that has left a portion of your heart hardened and weak. You know that your heart will never be the same.
You don’t really know where to go from here. You admit that you don’t feel as close to the Lord as you once did. You acknowledge that you have no one to blame but yourself for this unpleasant distance from God. You just really haven’t been seeking Him like you should. Your priorities have been all wrong and you’ve let yourself slip into a place that you never thought you would visit again.
But you move on from there. You pray that God will help you and your family through these difficult circumstances. You pick up your bible and you read God’s word. You realize at once how much you have missed those words and how very much you need to have them in your life. You trudge forward . . . and God meets you there. He is with you in the pain and helps you to take one day at a time. He helps you to realize that your struggle is not against any one person but against Satan himself as he wreaks havoc on your life. The Lord makes you see how important it is to pray not only for yourself but also for your enemies. And then you get this overwhelming sense of peace in the midst of a situation that is certainly not peaceful. You know that this peace is supernatural and can come only from your Heavenly Father. You give Him thanks for His love and kindness and you keep praying, reading and taking one day at a time. The Lord uses the following words to speak to you and heal you. You put on the full armor of God.
The Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. (Ephesians 6:10-20 NIV)
I’ve been trying to get these words on my blog for the past few weeks. I had to come up with a new, slightly more difficult way to make that happen, but here they finally are . . .
Well, I started to blog this evening and I quickly realized that God did not want me to do that. I sat at my computer and tried to think about what to blog. I did feel like I was forcing it a bit. The words just wouldn’t come but I still sat there typing. I titled my post and then tried to start typing the body of my piece. I literally could not type. I mean, my hands were compressing the keys but no words were appearing. I couldn’t even locate the cursor on my screen. I was getting frustrated. I switched to my iPad . . . same problem. No words! I spent several more minutes trying to brainstorm how I could fix this issue. And then I realized…God doesn’t want me blogging tonight. He doesn’t want me forcing some words onto my blog . . . strike that . . . His blog, just because I felt like I need to produce something for all of my adoring followers. (LOL) So I got the hint. I turned off my computer and put down my iPad. I grabbed my journal and listened for the voice of God. I can most clearly hear His voice with pen and paper in hand. It feels so natural and pure. The words flow out of me in a way that is almost supernatural. I hear from Him and it thrills me. To see His words on my page is an amazing and wonderful experience.
Well, anyway . . . I think I may be babbling a bit. What I’m trying to say is that we can’t force the things of God. They should be natural and completely of Him. When we try to do things on our own, even when it’s with good intention and something that would likely be pleasing to God, it may not necessarily be God’s plan for us. When we follow a path that is not God’s plan, it will not end well. Trust me, I know. I have traveled those paths, all the while thinking God would approve. It lead to extended and painful despair. I grew further from Him. It was very unpleasant.
Basically, I feel like God wants us to actively seek Him and His plan for us. He wants us to consult Him in all of our decisions. He doesn’t want us to come up with our own plan and be like, “OK, God. I have this fabulous plan and it’s going to be great for you, too. Are you on board?” He wants to be the driver while we ride in the passenger seat. Oh, how very difficult it is to relinquish all control to Our Loving Father. I still struggle with this daily because I am so far from perfect. But in the times I have sought the Lord and His plan for me with all of my heart, I was rewarded with an absolutely amazing sense of peace and closeness to God. So what I’m trying to say in case you’ve missed it . . . Seek Him with all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind. You will be astonished to find out what will happen after that.
OK. God bless you if you’re still with me here. I feel such a strong desire to tell this story even though it’s not related to the rest of this post. My husband was helping me fold laundry the other day. Yes, it was very sweet of him to help. Anyway, we were putting clothes on hangers. I put a couple of pairs of my dress pants on hangers and he put another pair on a hanger. He sat that pair off to the other side of the bed. He finished and walked away. I’m pretty sure I can remember looking for the pair of pants that he put on the hanger and they were not there. I didn’t think much about it. I thought he probably just took them upstairs to the closet in which I keep my dress pants. I hung up the rest of the clothes. The day ended…we went to bed. About three days later, I wanted to wear my brown dress pants. I started looking for them and they were nowhere! I searched the house twice and couldn’t find them. It was then that I remembered the previous incident. My husband had absolutely no recollection of the event of course. He said that I hung up all of my pants. I was pretty sure that he thought that I was a freak. I was certain that I wasn’t hallucinating. He then searched the house and . . . nothing! No pants! It’s not like the pants were all that expensive. I can easily go get another pair just like them. But I can’t stop thinking about those pants! Where are they?!! Where did they go?! My husband suggests that maybe I never even had brown dress pants in the first place. Am I losing my mind? Ugghh! I think I have brown dress pants . . . don’t I?
